Read Part I here dusksandaurora.wordpress.com/2014/10/14/stay/
I tried in a futile attempt to calm down,the clock ticked slowly;time crawled like a toddler,5hours felt like eternity… Then it was time to leave,I left work but didn’t head straight for home… Alcohol,I took a few shots and I was on my way home. Home,here I come. The house was particularly quiet,Anna was seated in one corner of the living room sipping what appeared to be coffee and clutching a white envelope. She rose to greet me with this beautiful smile on her face but I avoided every form of contact with her. “Have you been drinking?” She asked in a disappointed tone after perceiving my ‘alcohol-domineered breath’. I didn’t respond to that,I asked her where she was when I called her and whom she was with. This particular night she didn’t want to get in a fight “I don’t want to fight Archie.” She said. She just called me Archie again,WOW. “Its Arthur bitch not Archie” I said as I raised my hand to hit her face,I hit her a couple more times still saying “Its Arthur bitch not Archie”,the last shot took the wind out of her sails and she was flung off her feet in such disturbing fashion,the kind you notice when an animal is struck at a vital organ by a hunter’s perfectly timed bullet. The landing was even more disturbing,it was loud,heavy and awkward.
I,still blinded by anger and rage,thought she was pretending but something in me knew that all wasn’t well with her. I nudged her with my feet asking that she stopped pretending and stood up,because I came prepared for her. I called her name severally but she didn’t respond,then I moved a little closer and I saw blood,an ocean of it. I called for an ambulance,it came around after a few minutes. We got to the hospital and I was asked to wait outside of the Emergency room,I could see everything through the transparent glass demarcating the emergency and waiting room. The doctor and nurses were trying to revive her,they were trying really hard and all of a sudden stopped. Tears began to swell in my eyes. I was
scared for the first time in my life;I was petrified. It took a few minutes before the doctor came out to me, “Mr Curry,you are going to have to be a man. Your wife lost a lot of blood,too much infact,so it kind of affected the baby and herself and unfortunately…” he said,then a long pause followed. Baby?What baby?Unfortunately what? were thoughts that saturated my head. And then he dropped the bombshell “We lost her”,he concluded and left hurriedly like
one who was trying to catch a flight,I wanted to ask what baby,wanted to ask what we lost her meant,what the consequence of losing her was,I wanted some explanation but I wasn’t going to get any. He already left. It was then that I realized that the envelope Anna was clutching in the livingroom was the pregnancy result,then I also realized that we lost her meant she was dead. Then I broke down in tears,merciless tears that won’t stop coming,tears that fell relentlessly like raindrops to the ocean. I was inconsolable. Then there was a playback of all that happened in my head. Then I rushed into the emergency room,grabbed Anna’s lifeless body,asking that she stayed with me,promising never to lay a finger on her again,promising to treat her like the queen that she was,promising to be the best husband in the world,promising promises that won’t and didn’t change anything,she was gone;far gone.
Her mom arrived several minutes later to the news of her daughters death,she came hurrying near to me,grabbed me by the collar,raining several heavy curses,punches and slaps on me all in a vain attempt to hurt me,screaming at the top of her voice and repeating “you have killed her,are you happy now?” I indeed killed her. I was numb and couldn’t feel the effects of the shots landing on different parts of my body,I have already been hit by a bigger shot;the death of my beloved. My world was crumbling before my very eyes,my life had literally ended.
Life after Anna’s death was hell for me;an enveloping,uncompassionate heat. I shut everyone out,I embraced alcohol and my life became one big humongous void. Archie visited me one day after calling severally to no response and whilst we were talking he accidentally referred to me as Archie,explaining that Anna called me Archie to him because she thought I shared a striking resemblance with ‘Archie’ the comic character and also because I had a good sense of humour. He also said that he drove her to the hospital earlier in the day(the day the unfortunate event occurred ) to get the result of the test she had conducted a few days before because she felt unwell and particularly restless,so on getting to the hospital and being told that she was pregnant,she was overwhelmed with joy and as a result mistakenly called me Archie. She thought I will be mad if she called me that to my face and she was right,I was mad…not at her but at myself for being such an asshole,mad at my ignorance,mad for not trusting her,mad for hitting her at all,talkless of hitting her whilst she carried our baby,mad for killing her and the baby,mad at death for being so cruel,for being un-knowledgeable,for taking Anna and the baby instead of me,because I indeed deserved to be killed;to die,a long painful death. I was infact dead,just merely existing.
I could do nothing but cry for weeks unending,I hated my own self,my whole existence;my being and if tears could revive the dead,Anna would be here in our midst lazying somewhere in my now safe,strong and secure arms,she would be here with me;she would STAY with me;she would stay and never leave. She would stay,she would infact stay…